Top 20 Gayest Actors in Film/Television
Hollywood is known for glitz and glamour. The flashing lights, the red carpets, the botox and the plastic faces – it’s all to be expected when visiting the boulevard of dreams. As trends rise, one thing you’re sure to see more of today is the gay people. They’re everywhere: especially in Hollywood. It’s a little overwhelming, and some actors are worried about the straight roles becoming far and few between.
Here’s an official list of the Gayest Hollywood Actors in Film and Television today.
Darren Criss
I mean, come on. That sweater + those abs? It’s obvious that Darren here joined the cast of GLEE for a reason – he’s got the rainbow fever. Sure, he’s got a certain charm that makes the little girls giggle and shit, but we’re sorry ladies: this one’s obviously the queen of singing random musical numbers in the middle of a school.
Hilary Swank
You better work, bitch. Or should we say, dude? Hilary Swank may be made-up to look super beautiful and feminine in her other roles, but don’t let her fool you – this chick is like a general of her own lesbian army. Have a great movie role? Call Hilary. Need your truck fixed? Call Hilary.
Philip Seymour Hoffman
More like Philip See-More Penis. Amirite? Basically all the throat clearing and lost puppy-dog looks Philip uses in his acting method is more telling than one might think. Don’t think you fooled us as the villain in Mission Impossible, Hoffman. We could tell you were undressing Tom Cruise with your eyes the whole time.
Sara Ramirez
One half of the not-so-ambiguously gay duo from Grey’s Anatomy. Trust us honey, we knew you were throwing out jeep-loving, flannel-wearing vibes when you up and married George O’Malley before he died. He was such a girly man. And all that sex with Mc’Steamy…we could tell you were faking it.
Jessica Capshaw
The other half. Hey, at least you came out of the box as a swinging lipstick-lesbian. Just know, those glossy lips and expertly-spread lashes don’t fool us for a second – you’re constantly thinking about vagina.
Sean Penn
When Harvey Milk died at the end, we cried our eyes out. Why? Because you’re so gay, Sean Penn. You’re so gay.
Charlize Theron
Ew.
Jake Gyllenhaal
Yum.
Daniel Radcliffe
It seems all of our silent suspicions were quite correct – you were made to love the wrong Weasley. Ron was the apple of your eye the whole time. Why not use one of those colorful squirts from that big magic wand of yours and – ok never mind, that took a wrong turn…
Billy Crystal
No kids, I don’t remember Billy Crystal as the voice for the fun-loving character Sully in Monsters Inc. – I remember him as that taboo gay guy from the classic television show Soap. It can be said Billy was the first of a long trend of gay characters: a long and very well-dressed trend.
Robin Williams
Nobody does it better than Robin. Except for, maybe, a girl. Very noble Mr. Williams, the way you basically came out of the closet alongside Nathan Lane in an adorable movie featuring all that chest hair. Fab-u-lous.
Jim Carrey
Remember that movie you did – The Mask? We all wondered what you were hiding from. And then all of a sudden without warning you’re making out with Obi-Wan Kenobi in pretty much the gayest movie we’ve ever seen.
Ewan McGregor
Dude, you got to have love scenes with Nicole Kidman and Scarlett Johansson. Why the Hell are you sleeping with Jim Carrey? Guess the answer is obvious – you dig dudes.
Tim Curry
It seemed obvious at times, even though, as a Hollywood Legend, we wanted to deny it, but then The Rocky Horror Picture Show came out, and subsequently so did you Mr. Curry. We had no Clue.
Tom Hanks
You played a homosexual with Aids. While this is heartbreaking and inspiring, nobody just up and plays a gay guy with Aids. Right? I mean, only a real gay person could actually pull that off. One question we have – are the rumors true about Antonio Banderas? Is he well endowed?
Eric Stonestreet
It appears you’ve made this too easy, Eric. With those extravagantly patterned shirts and that effeminate wrist, there’s no question you might be the gayest actor in Hollywood. Modern Family is lucky to have found an actor who fits the bill so perfectly. Your counterpart, however, Mitch is it? Jesse Tyler Ferguson? You could give him some advice on how to actually appear gay on screen.
Annette Bening
Anyone want to go to Home Depot? Because Annette Bening does. Are you sure the kids are alright? You’re one scary lesbian.
Julianne Moore
Annette Bening’s girlfriend.
Matt Damon
Makeup, facelifts, and feathered hair. You could’ve just made it a lot easier and simply said ‘I’m gay’. But no, you had to go and screw Michael Douglas in front of us and prance adorably into our judgmental little hearts. Weren’t you in a movie with Robin Williams? Oh…I see…now it all comes together.
Michael Douglas
You win, Michael Douglass. You win.
The Crepe 